We constantly put things off, believing we have time to get to it later, that whatever we are doing right now is more important. As we push things to the side, we neglect what it was that we wanted to do, and those things are soon forgotten about. Time is a very finite thing. We think we have so much time, when really, we don’t.
At the beginning of the summer, I wrote down a few things from My List that I wanted to accomplish, things that I thought would be easy enough to do on a weekend where I had free time. I thought that the four months I had (May-August) would allow me ample time to work through My List, review what I could achieve, complete it and cross it off.
As the weeks passed, I found myself saying stuff like, “I can do that next month on the long weekend”, or “I have a lot to do, but should have time later”. However, I soon realized, that I didn’t get around to it on those long weekends, or didn’t have the time (or make the time) I thought I had.
I used to post something daily on here, and then became sort of lazy or complacent, and daily turned into every other day, which in turn became once a week when I “had time”. This was an outlet for me to share what was going on in my mind, and I soon started to become silent in my thoughts and internalizing what I needed to, or wanted to express. The thoughts were there, but the time to say those things had passed, and the thoughts soon disappeared. I thought I had time to say what I wanted, but just like that, time had passed, and so did the thought.
The mistake in my thinking was that I didn’t think I “had time”‘, when in reality, I wasn’t “finding time” or “making time” to accomplish the things I wanted to do, or say what I wanted to say. I look back on that mistaken way of thinking, and see that the time I lost can’t be made up in anyway, but also don’t want to look back in regret that I didn’t make the time to do the things I wanted to.
In a way I lost sight of what it was I wanted to achieve, by working my way through My List in an ideal time of year, but it doesn’t mean that I missed an opportunity to ever do those things. I still have time, and now am aware that I have to make time to do the things that are important to me.
On the bright side, this summer hasn’t been a total write off. I met an amazing person who I can share my thoughts with, and who is a tremendous pillar of support for me. I have enjoyed this summer immensely, and look forward to what the fall has to offer.